Atlanta: Gu's Kitchen

When I arrived to Gu's Kitchen, around 1:15 on a breezy Tuesday afternoon, I was hungry. I was starving. Famished. Having completed the 4 hour drive in record time, I was angry. Having encountered Atlanta traffic, where a 97 in a 55 is the norm, I was shell-shocked. But one thing that kept me going was the thought that, after placing an order at the well-groomed iPad register and taking a seat in a sleek room of 42, I would have my noodles.

I planned on the Chengdu Cold Noodles, which arrive to the table in some sort of chopstick jenga. I've studied photos of the dish like a monk over his illuminations. Yet it still boggles my mind as to how it;s constructed. Unfortunately, I got cold feet when faced with the menu. My companion stuck with her order of Dan Dan Noodles and Sweet and Spicy Pork Dumplings. Yet I realized that, with only 4 days in Hotlanta, I had to go big. Or I had to go home. I went for the Numbing Dry Fried Beef Noodles.
The woman up front looked frightened.
-"It's very, very spicy"
-"That's alright with me"
And indeed it was.

The service was fast.The guero who maintained our table kept us stocked on water and amenities. Noodles and dumplings arrived fast, and were only a tad off-temperature. Both had a similar base of fresh, beige noodles with the meat and toppings like cream on the cone. The dumplings were sweet, spicy, warm. But the noodles. Upon first bite, I felt transformed. The noodles were...WERE...

Good. Pretty damn good actually. Not outstanding, life-changing, or anything else. But very good. The noodles, especially if you haven't tucked into anything for a while, were filling. In a cruel twist of fate, the more you eat, the fuller you become. Yet, as you get deeper into the bowl, and the beef, cilantro, sauce, and oil become one, it gets tastier and tastier. In my carb-induced haze, I experienced some truly sublime bites. The Dan Dan Noodles were much the same. Unfortunately, the whole bowl did not match up. But it was good. Great, even. And sometimes, that's all you need.

OVERALL RATING: 7.5/10, Satisfying and delicious noodles and dumplings. Nothing more, nothing less.

Noodles and Meals: Yook Kal Knife Cut Noodles

These noodles, both upon glance of the ingredients and the look of the finished bowl, show similarities to a popular noodle here in the states: One Culture. One Culture focuses on thick udon/knife cut style noodles with bone broth reductions. The noodles themselves are quite flavorless and playdoh-like. However, the broth is always extremely satisfying. The same can be said of these, so-called 'Knife Cut Noodle Soup'. The Noodles are a tad rubbery and uninteresting, though they became better the longer it absorbed the broth. The broth, however, is a typical Korean pepper and bean-base, which differs little from a restaurant-bought bowl.

Problems with this bowl of noodles start to arise when one begins to get deeper into the bowl. For all of the seasoning oil, hair-singing spice and cliche, yet effective hot oil and vinegar, one comes to a realization: The broth simply is not that interesting. Satisfying? Without a doubt. And with calories clocking in at  half of most stir-fry ramens and jajangmyeuns, it would work well in a diet envritonment. But compare it to a Samyang-Stew Style. Or even better, the Nissin Raoh Tonkatsu: All budget noodles which abound in flavor, with sodium content being close for all three. The Yook Kal is thin, salty, and uninteresting. Is it a bad option for a quick lunch or dinner? No, as little instant noodles are. But better options, for cheaper, lurk around every corner.

OVERALL RATING: 5/10, Satisfying. But average by every measure.

Video: GAFGuide Video Review #1

Bhaigan Bharta Review

Drinks: Georgia-Deep Black

Complex layers of sweet teak and savory flavor line a mouthful of this Japanese black-coffee drink. I cannot read Japanese, so I'm at a loss as to if this is an americano, cold brew, or iced coffee. The can is comically small, yet the flavor and apparent strength of the brew make this enjoyable and worth the slight premium on import. Best taken out of the fridge, this is fantastic as a post-workout, early morning jolt, or rush-hour pick-me-up.

My hands are small for my size. I am a man. This is quite the tiny can.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. I  am a fan of food that, regardless of complexity or lack thereof, does exactly as it advertises. Complex and refreshing. 

Clarksville: El Bracero

Possibly the worst plate of Mexican food I have ever had the luxury of consuming was at El Bracero, located on Madison Street in beautiful Clarksville, Tennessee. El Bracero is a local chain of americanized Mexican restaurants, stretching from central Kentucky to the Clarksville-Montgomery County Area. The El Bracero on Exit 4, near the local mall and Wal-Mart, is a true money-maker, with emphasis on attractive servers, mariachi nights, and a portico where a small Guatemalan woman presses fresh flour tortilla, to the awe of passing patrons. The location on Exit 1 is no different. As they say, however; 'Location, location.". The El Bracero on Madison Street, nestled near the aorta of Historic Downtown Clarksville, is both the oldest and least successful of the three area locations. Madison Street, which runs from Downtown to the rural Sango area, cuts through some of the oldest and poorest areas of town. The locale is comprised of geriatrics and gang members, with little in-between. So it wasn't to my surprise that, on a breezy Cinco de Mayo, the main dining room appeared as though a bomb went off, or the fair was in town. Nervously, I surveyed the scene, and then took a seat with an acquaintance.

Service was slow, which I found interesting, considering how unimpressive the lunch-time crowd was. There was a large order being prepared in the kitchen, which, having worked in kitchens before, is understandably time-consuming. However, we had extremely simple orders, and the food took an extremely long time in arriving to the table. However, little could have prepared me for what came next.

I ordered carnitas, usually sure-fire in appraising the quality of an AMR (Americanized Mexican Restaurant). What arrived to my table could have made an episode of Dirty Jobs blush. Instead of fried pork pieces, crispy on the outside with gleaming white flesh, I was met by the Black Dahlia crime scene in technicolor. A giant, thick pork loin, hacked in the middle by a dull knife, with a strange gamey smell and a pool of clear, pus-like liquid. Upon consumption, the taste was game, odor, charred pieces mixed with lukewarm fat. You can ask the guy I was with. I was shouting at how awful the food was. The salad was insipid, the avocado tasteless and odorless. I might as well have tucked into some sliced jerky silica packets. The highlight were the tortillas, which paired nicely with the canned refired beans. I have nothing else to say. This place sucks

OVERALL RATING: 3/10, disgusting food saved by cheap drinks that i'm not old enough to purchase.